November 28th, 2025

So um... Wow. It's been a while, hasn't it? Over a year, actually...

A lot has happened, more than I expected. It's kind of crazy how much can happen within one year... Where do I even begin? I guess in order

One: Eloise happened. I mentioned in previous entries that I confessed to him on Valentine's Day. What I didn't expect was that... well. That was genuinely such a stressful relationship. We didn't even get together until the summer, and then the following six months were... something. There were highs, but so much of it was me just sitting and listening to them and never getting a word in otherwise unless it was to comfort or turn him on. At least I'm more confidently able to say that I'm on the Asexual spectrum after that experience... I can't believe I let myself be run over like that and have sex shoved in my face so often I was nauseous for 2+ months. Hell, I saw her in *person*, I literally flew to Ireland to see them (which is where I learned that it wasn't going to work...). Just... ugh. A notable experience that taught me something. At least I made a new friend out of it.

Two: I spent the entire first part of the year running a bookclub, and through that I brought together a friend group that has genuinely been so important and wonderful for me that I just... can't imagine not having them now. In past entries, I was so upset that I didn't have anybody- and it's just crazy to me that now, I finally do. I adore these people so much. Most notably is Sam, who just... means the world to me. We call each other our platonic other halves. They've come over here a few times and I've driven to their house (6hrs on the road, for reference) more times than I can count. It's the best hangouts... We cuddle, we support one another, we communicate. There's so much comfort here, I can truly trust her with anything, and it's just... incredible, to me. He truely loves all parts of me, and I love all parts of her. I've never had this before. Not to mention my other friends- they're incredible, we have so much fun together and they're all so wonderful and I'm just... so incredibly lucky. I really am. We all can talk and vent and comfort and communicate with one another and it's okay. I love them. I love them.

Third: I learned that, um... I'm. hah! Kind of in an abusive relationship! I've always known that my family was... rough, but I think it's become very clear to me this past year that these people aren't good and they treat me poorly. That I really am... traumatized, from it. It's one of those things I've known for a long time, but didn't truly face and confront until this past year. I've just been stagnent, but now I'm fully aware of it and actively trying to get out. Sam and I have plans on moving in with one another.

Lastly, I had a realization...! I'm, ah, plural. I'm a system. I think it's specifically OSDD. This one is... something I'm getting used to, but genuinely it explains so much of my life and my experiences and I'm like! Ah !!! Okay !!! This actually makes sense I fear. I'm getting used to it though. My friends have been so supportive, they're so wonderful.

One last smaller realization that I had was that... haaaah. So who knew that you could misclassify something as a kink..? Apparently I'm a pet regressor and was misclassifying it as a PetPlay kink for over a year. Wild, to me. It explains a lot of problems I was having with Eloise, though.

Guuuh okay I think that's everything... This really has been an insane year of self discoveries. Now, on top of all of that, I am currently back in school- I took the spring 2025 semester off- working on my Bachelor's degree. It's... stressful, but we're getting there haha.

I think that's everything. I'll start making an effort to talk in here again, it's just... It's understandable after all of ^^ that why I wasn't, yeah? Haha