Semptember 26, 2023

 

I wish I could communicate like others do.

Everyone I've ever spoken too has so many ideas, and they're so good at speaking them. Characters they've thought up, situations they thought were funny, analysises and well-spoken thought trains...

Why can't I do that?

I love listening, but it seems that that's all I'm able to do. Why can't I articulate my own thoughts? Put the constant whirling of my mind into coherent speech? Hell, I can't even type up my thoughts or responses to most things, these days, other than a keysmash or a YES.

Am I boring? Am I unpleasant to speak with? I wouldn't be surprised... Its hard speaking to a brick wall.

Maybe that's why I draw. It's the only way I know how to speak with another person. I can't tell you the ideas floating around in my head, but I can draw you a picture. Is that good enough? Can we still be friends? I love your ideas, and I love listening to you, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Just...

I want to speak. I want to communicate.

Why is that so hard for me?